From the Millersburg, Tennessee Globe & Beacon:
The Monday town council meeting was uneventful, largely consisting of payroll approvals and ordinance discussions. However, during the public comment period Harold Hill, owner of Hill’s Music & Band Instruments, asked to be recognized and allowed to address the council for five minutes. After being called to the lectern, Mr. Hill’s comments can only be described as unique. Here they are, heavily edited to make some semblance of coherent thought.
As I’m sure you are aware, The Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act includes $65 billion for expanding access to big-band. It is a wonderful opportunity to ensure more Americans, especially the most vulnerable, have access to this cultural gem we have long neglected. With $30 per month subsidies, more families can allow their children to rent band instruments and buy Glenn Miller records. There are provisions to improve big-band coverage in schools, and even to teach senior citizens about big-band.
The great philosopher Stevland Morris once said ‘Music knows that it is and always will be one of the things that life just won’t quit.’
I would like to request the council be proactive in working with our representatives in Washington, D.C. so Hill’s Music & Band Instruments can get our share of the funding in a timely manner.
During Mr. Hill’s comment period, several members of the council raised their hands to clarify, but he ignored them. Eventually Council President Irv Jones spoke up, and Mr. Hill requested he be allowed his full five-minute speaking allotment. Somewhat bemused, President Jones told Mr. Miller to continue.
After his comments, Ward 2 Councilman Red Grinder said “It’s ‘broadband’ expansion, not big-band.” To which Mr. Hill replied “No it’s big-band, not broad-band. I understand that big and broad are synonyms, but you need to get it right. The genre has a very specific name. It’s typical of our government to start a major initiative without even getting the basics correct.”
Grinder gently explained “Harold this is about broadband, not ‘broad-band;’ there is no hyphen. And it’s certainly not about big-band. This funding is to improve our internet access.”
Hill could only reply, “Never mind.”
The meeting was adjourned to stifled laughter. Mr. Hill was seen dejectedly walking towards his music store, muttering something about Emily Litella.
